We all have our weakest patterns we fall into especially when the situation is very new to us or if the situation brings lots of fear and anxiety in us. I, of course, have my weakness and the patterns I fall into. Lately, I realized that I was falling into the pattern I tend to go, but this time, although I was dipping into my pattern, I realized what was going on soon enough. Hence, I can prevent the worst situation for myself in the long run. It’s funny how I could miss such an easy clue while my energy consumption was enormous. Being an energy healer and a spiritual healer, this can be easily recognized if it wasn’t my weakest part of myself. So, today, I’ll write about the energy consumption and deeply seeded programming and then how it helps us to recognize what’s going on in our life.
I’m not sure if the American old school teaches kids and adults that in order to bring what you desire, you have to work hard. Definitely, I grew up in that conditioning for sure. I tend to work hard for no matter what I do. I tend to go beyond what the normal people would go. In a way, there are some benefits to this trait, but sometimes, this is not necessary, right? For instance, who decided that you can’t get what you want unless you do this this and this? Who decided that you can’t bring abundance in all areas of your life unless you are a medical doctor or lawyer? I mean, if you believe that way, sure it shall be so. But, really, is it really so? Whose thoughts are they? Are they yours or are they what you learned somewhere in life?
Lately, I’m doing an extra work for my full time night job. It’s against my policy, but here is the deal. If I don’t do it, my energetic suffering with this work will be a long run. So, I decided that this is a temporary deal and I’ll make it happen since no one will. Being said that, working till 3am or 4am while I still have some normal activities in the morning makes it really hard. Human needs good sleep and rest. Besides, I’m no longer a pre-med who was studying with 3 hours of sleep everyday. However, I was ok with that because I knew this was a temporary deal.
When someone is this much exhaustion, it’s easy to miss the easiest queues. Along the line, someone who probably shouldn’t be even in my energy consumption came in. Since I’ve been in the mode of fixing all the project tasks and pushing through to get things done, I think I misinterpreted as this was part of my tasks. The funny thing is that I could see the differences in my energy consumption with other folks who are in the same condition. It’s not that I made an agreement to go beyond what I would normally do just for this specific individual. Since I do see things beyond the three dimensional realm, I was even getting the warning messages in the physical realm. The warning sign was that it’s been always the car who was driving in front of me was pulled over by police. It happened in a same day multiple times and more than just once, I’ve been asking what it meant. I could tell that it was a warning sign, but I couldn’t figure out what this was warning me about. Sure enough, it’s right in front of my eyes and I was missing out big time.
The fact is that when things are supposed to work, no matter how hard it may appear and it may feel, the energy consumption can’t be so great. The energy consumption and how hard it is and how horrible you feel are very different ball game. My energy consumption was so great that I completely lost my weekend this time. Well, but I’ll take it gracefully since I’m learning and I get to write my spiritual blog which I haven’t been able to write for a while.
Why did I fall into this? Well, I’ve been pushing my physical and mental limit for a while with this project tasks, so I was already tired. So, being tired is not a good condition to discern anything. Secondly, I probably was quite desperately wanting to get this tasks done so that our team can be out of the temporarily rough condition. So, I was in the hurry I guess. However, these are small reasons. The bigger, the sticker reasons behind of this is because I’m an extremely strong empath and I’m a generally kind and nice person (well, no matter how one may appear in times…). So, I tend to do the non-of-my-f-ing-business. I’m much better, but it’s my strong trait I would say. I would like others to be well. I would like others to be healed. So, it’s challenging when I see what would be good for the others, then how to think of what is the best for me or for my team. My discernment gets sluggish.
The biggest reason of all, though, is the deeply rooted societal conditioning I got through being born and raised in Japan. I grew up in the society where women support men. The thing is, it doesn’t sound bad if I say that. However, it is bad. Women support men and they don’t get credit for it. How about that? Men get all the credit for it. So, with my full time night job condition, as much as I’ve wanted to leave this environment so badly, I’ve been re-conditioning myself and teaching other males and females in the same conditioning to see it doesn’t have to be that way and it shouldn’t be that way. So, I almost made a boo boo for myself, but I saved myself before I get stuck in it for life.
What I want to say on this blog is this. I’m sure your conditioning is different from mine or anyone else’s. However, we all have our deeply seeded programming from our family, lineage, and society. So, bringing your awareness up and what those are for yourself help your life’s and soul’s journey greatly. Also, pay attention to your energy level and your energy consumption. It is energizing even after you did so much stuff? Or is it sucking up your energy and your will to live? The easiest way to check your energy consumption is if you feel light or heavy. Do you feel like you need some nap even though you are sleeping full hours? Do you feel like you are carrying the heavy chains around your ankles and body? You get the picture, right?
I won’t say that everything will be light and great when you’re aware because it’s just not that way. However, everything doesn’t have to be burdensome. Once you are aware, then you can work on it, right? You can work on what you can do about it. Highly likely, it might not be easy to change the course because you’re used to those patterns. But, it’ll help you greatly. Moreover, you’ll evolve.
Always have some amusement and hope you live lighter! 🙂