Happy Holidays! I know I skipped one week. That wasn’t my plan but life rolls all of the sudden sometimes. It’s all good because writing a spiritual blog is my creative and spiritual work and the new thing rolled into my life is also creative and spiritual work in a different way! My life has rapidly shifted to the new stream, so I’ll write about that. Yeah, I nothing holiday-ish topic except my home is very holiday decorative this year! I haven’t done the holiday decoration thing for years! Man, it feels so warming and good for me! Anywho, the topic is always flowing on the downstream but the downstream has some rocks and riffle!
I wrote about applying a Zumba instructor position through the gym I go to and went through the audition. That was a fast track process but after then, it got speeded up. I got hired on the following week and got a couple of classes on the following week from then. I had to change all the songs on the CD to fit into the gym standard which put me into the rush on choreo practice and memorization. So far, I did three Zumba class gigs already. With that, my lifting has been on hold and my spiritual practice got on hold. Now, I did three classes, I feel much more at ease and I feel like I can do this. So, I can bring my other projects in life back on! Yeah! But, what I want to write about is of course abundance is always downstream but also downstream doesn’t mean it’s happy, easy, euphoric all the time.
If you haven’t read my past blogs, you probably don’t know this teaching Zumba thing is a huge step for me. I’m sensitive, so I don’t like attentions. I always have been avoiding to be in the center of the focus no matter how the environments brought me such opportunities many times in life. So, it took me many process of working on my stuff throughout this year. When one of my favorite Zumba class instructor put two weeks notice, I got panicked. Then, I decided not to depend on others (instructors and classes) to give me my joy time but instead to create a joy time on my own. That was probably three weeks ago probably.
Anyway, The first Zumba class I taught was Wednesday last week. I was probably 90% on the all choreography for the class, but I told myself that I needed to blow up “perfect” pictures. I’m all about spontaneity and expansion. Shooting for perfect is very framed I feel. Anywho, I was ready for the first gig and for whatever reason, I even forgot my CD when I was close to the gym. So, I went back home to get it, ended up I was late for the class. People who know Naomi, she is normally “early” rather than on time on her gigs. When I arrived to the class and figuring out the audio system, my hands were shaking. I did ground myself, but unexpected delay was a little over the top on the first gig.
I taught the class, not too bad at all. I was so glad that I made it through. However, when all the people have left, I started to notice something odd with me. My body was contracting and felt rigid. I couldn’t focus seeing. I think my body was even cold. So, when I went to the locker room, I was asked by a lady if I was ok. I wasn’t really, but not to the point like I needed to call 911. I decided to lie down in the sauna to at least warm my body up. As I paid attention to my body, I noticed that my left arm was shaking. Was I that nervous? The class wasn’t that bad. Of course, I was exhausted from teaching the very first class in life, but it wasn’t that bad. It was puzzling.
I don’t know how long I stayed, but at least my body was warm and the contraction wasn’t too out of control. So, I took off to home and lied down on the bed for one hour or so. I wasn’t sleepy or tired, something was really odd with my body. After lying in bed for one hour I felt a little better. That night, there was an evening healing clinic at my teacher’s school and I told her that I would let her know if I could participate on that afternoon. I have been making more space for my healing practice, so I cut my participation on the healing clinic lately. I decided that doing the healing would help me move these energy out of my space. So, I called up my teacher to let her know that I would come. Ended up there was no participating healer, so it worked out perfectly for both of us (me and my teacher).
I was sharing with my teacher about this physical oddness after teaching the first class and told her that it really felt like past life stuff. How do I know? Well, I’ve been doing this stuff for a while, so I kind of know what is from the past life, this life, entities, other’s energy, etc. Then my teacher shared with me what she saw when I was describing it. At least, she saw three past lives showing up at that time. It’s all related to “dancing.” One life time I was some sort of spiritual dancer to raise the vibration at a temple. Another in Egypt, another Buddhist church, and I saw some other life times myself, too. It looked to me that the commonality in those life times were I either got punished or imprisoned by “dancing.” It must be not just dancing because I dance all the time. It must be teaching or influencing other people through dance.
When my teacher gave me healing, I felt that huge lead like block siting in my head, throat, chest, stomach were all gone. I could breathe better, stretch my body better. I didn’t have to bend over to walk like older people any more. Man, that was intense! I really felt like my body was reacting like PTSD although teaching the first class wasn’t that bad at all. This isn’t the fist time I moved intense energy from me, but oh boy this was something! No wonder I had such a hard time to even try to do a group ex instructor for years!
I said to my teacher, “well, I know it’s rhetorical question since I might already know the answer, but this doesn’t feel like a downstream. It has been amusingly and amazingly downstream up till I did the first gig this morning. But this? I mean, I’m glad that these surfaced so I can remove them, but still… ” Then my teacher said, “Even downstream has rocks and riffles. You just hit the rocks and riffles, that’s all.” Yeah ok, it makes sense. I don’t like it, but it does make sense. It was rather effortless so it was still a downstream, but painful because the energy buried in my space was surfacing.
I was going to write about this last week, but even if you don’t know how it’s like, maybe you can imagine how the body has to process when you release big blocks of energy. So, I took a week off from pretty much everything. I just baked, decorated holiday thing, sharing love with people, telling people I love them, etc.
Abundance is never ever an upstream. When we’re aligned with our path and soul’s plan, it’s always downstream. Though, remember you might have rough time for a moment. It doesn’t have to be a past life stuff like my case, it could be your growth period. So, I wanted to share the difference between upstream and rocks or riffles on downstream. Downstream feels effortless and rather easy to do. The consequence might be a little challenging or puzzling sometimes, that’s rocks and riffles. Keep asking yourself if this is downstream and it’s effortless for you. Keep asking yourself if this is just riffles and rocks or you’re going upstream. You’ll know as you keep paying more attention to it.
With that, have a wonderful Holidays! Joy, love, amusement, abundance and expansion for you! 🙂