Be Consistent With Your Boundaries

Hello ladies and gents! Yes, it’s Wednesday and I’m writing a blog! Recently I decided to set my healing business office hours and I’m adjusting myself to work within that hours accordingly. It’s more for myself. Since I do my own healing business and my energy work can become 24/7. I’m not willing to live my life that way and it’s been challenging. So, I decided to set my hours and take a complete healing and spiritual work off on off hours. Sure, communication might happen here and there, but I’m working on my best to do within the time I’m setting up. With that, I’ll write about boundaries today. Hence, the title is “Be Consistent With Your Boundaries!”

You probably know the boundaries around work can be challenging. I was a corporate worker for a long time and my hours were set officially. However, my actual working hours was never within those hours. I remember when I was working for the tech corporate jobs, my hours were beyond 40 hours per week. At one point, I was working from the morning to the mid night with no visible reward. When I got fired from that project, I learned the lesson. No matter how hard you work, how good worker you might be, you’re not the most important matter. It all depends on how the decision makers see things in their conveniences. So, it’s for your best to take a good care of yourself and do the best for yourself no matter what you do around work, relationship, anything in life!

I’m writing this boundary topic not just because of the work hour boundaries. My work is energy work, spiritual work per se, so things are very invisible. If I’m not clear about what I do and what I don’t do, things can sneak in pretty easily. So, it’s always my learning journey of how well to set my boundaries. Boundaries are not set stone, either. If it’s not working well, you have to continuously shift and change to work well for you. You’re evolving and so should your boundaries be.

I’ll give you an example. I have a friend who uses my services from time to time. Friends are challenging when you do your work. For one, your boundaries with your friends are quite different from the strangers to start with. So, setting up the boundaries on your business around your friends is much more challenging. Friendship can sneak in beyond your business boundaries and then pretty soon, you start feeling that things are not working well for some reason. After a while, you realize that you allow your friends to cross your business boundaries. You would have caught it if it was a pure client of yours, but just because it’s your friend, you totally didn’t catch it. It went through your blind sight.

This happens here and there for me. I don’t have much healees/readees who are my friends because of this reason. It’s sort of like a “conflict of interest” in some business. I used to be in financial field and I remember I was very clear about conflict of interest. I never dated with my clients, never did loans for someone I knew, or never handled the money of someone I knew. It makes things easier for you to handle. No matter how you feel you’re ok, humans are not that clear cut and dry beings.

I have had some healees/readees who want to use me as a “personal healer” for their personal convenience. This is not a clear cut thing, either. Where to draw the line is all up to me. I set up my healing work for people’s healing journey and soul’s evolution. I set up my healing work to be “mutually beneficial.” So, I don’t work “for” people. I do healing, spiritual work for the session set up. So, no one is my disciple. I’m no one’s “personal healer.” I’m called on assistance, and then I provide assistance for their own growth and healing process. All the responsibility is up to the healees, not me. I don’t take their responsibility on me. I don’t do their work; they have to do their work.

Majority of the people are very clear about my boundaries probably because of the cultural set up in the US. However, US is made of multi-cultural, multi-ethnic population. So, from here and there, no matter how I address my boundaries, it doesn’t go through some people. Then, I have to keep checking with my higher self and the “Source.” Is it my highest good to work with this person? If yes, then how much and around what and what not? As long as the message is “ok” on working with the person, I have to constantly address, shift, change my boundaries to work better for me and my healing work. This part is most challenging in my work I think.

Energy go through anywhere. It doesn’t matter if you’re seeing your healee in front of you or if your prospective is thinking about booking a session. The energy already visits my space. Sure, this is totally unconscious level, but communicating energetically that I address clear energetic separation is big in my work. When other’s energy is in my space, I can’t be neutral. Other’s energy doesn’t work for me. Same thing can be said about you, too. Keeping your space clear from other energy is the key. That’s what boundaries are for.

This is also true in relationship, right? I don’t do that much any more, but back in the day when I was still pondering about being single was lonely, I used to allow people who were not super good for my highest good. I picked up a so so person, or more like not completely my style of person, then in my core part of myself knew this person might not be good for me, but pondered what other options were. So, boundaries get wishy-washy, then what I set up got invaded every single time till I said “enough!” Nowadays, I’m a bit in the opposite extreme, so I learned how to be cool and happy by myself and now I’m not sure how to do the relationship well. I’m learning everyday. I get so distant and feel like dropping the whole game, but then realize that ok I need to come to a little more friendly space than the boundaries made of concrete.

What’s the point of this? Well, take back home for you is this. The clearer your space from other’s energy is, the clearer your head and life can be. The clearer your space from other’s energy is, the better you can relate, be neutral, and be kind. Setting boundaries and be clear about your boundaries are the first step on that. You own your space by setting up the boundaries and being consistent about it. If it’s not working, change it to the better. But, the boundaries are necessary!

With that, have a amazingly amusing rest of the week! 🙂