Your Happiness Is Independent Of Others

Happy Aloha Friday! It’s a little wonky weather in Seattle. Rain, hail, sun, rain… I’ve been very focused and productive this afternoon, so I decided to give me some break. Writing can be a break! I’ve been creating the flyer for the workshop I decided to do next month. The idea came in during the meditation earlier this week, so I’ve been letting it flow without resisting or thinking too much about it. I think it will be a very practical and helpful workshop because I’m going to teach people how to shift their stress. It’s relevant to anyone, any situation. It doesn’t have to be stress. Just shifting your thoughts and negatives to the positives and desired outcome! Anyway, I’m excited about it. Meanwhile, I shall write about what I thought this morning. It’s about your happiness is solely your creation!

Since I have been reading the Esther Hicks’ book, “The Astonishing Power of Emotions,” I’ve been having multiple ideas and aha moments. One of them is about how I feel is totally up to me. I’ve been noticing that this week through my Zumba classes as well. So, I’ll share about it.

The book helps you to shift your thoughts from the upstream thoughts to downstream thoughts. Upstream thoughts give you uncomfortable feeling and stressful vibration while downstream thoughts give you relief and ease. You tend to focus on the problems which are giving us the discomfort. Lack of money, relationship problems, job stress, your boss being not cool, your kids giving you grief, etc. It’s countless! When the discomfort is too strong, then you tend to fix the root cause. Typically speaking you probably hunt down the person or things that are creating your discomfort.

I tell you that it doesn’t help you if you’re thinking and operating that way. It means that you have to keep fixing other people and things to make your life happier. It means that you have to fix the countless matters in your external matters in order to be fully happy in life. It means that your happiness is solely dependent of other people! How do you feel about that? That doesn’t sound good, does it?

The fact is that you can’t change other people’s behavior or the environment what’s happening at this moment. You can try to change that but it probably takes so much effort and energy, but nothing really changes. You pretty much have no control over others. What you have control over is you. You have control over how you feel about it. You have control over how you think about it. You have control over your reaction to the given stimuli. So, the aim is to shift your thoughts around your stressful stimuli to give you a relief. That’s the basic principle.

This didn’t happen in one night after reading this book this week, but my Zumba teaching space is totally like that. Throughout my experience and learning with this Zumba teaching, I came to the realization of how I do the class is more important than the technique. It’s all about if I’m teaching for myself or for others. That might create some misunderstanding because I think one gentleman from a class took it wrong. But again, I don’t have control over for other people’s misunderstanding or understanding. I can only have control over myself. From the beginning, I had in my mind that I need to teach for myself. That’s the conversation I had with my teacher a while ago. “If you teach for yourself, you can still enjoy.”  I have been experiencing it in real time.

My Zumba teaching has been quite dependent on how the class went, how the energy of the class, if I get complaints or not, if the class gave me so much negative energy that I had to spend hours to clean out my energy field, etc. Since I decided that how the class is created is how I want to create, not how people want me to do, my stress level got significantly less. Still, I was really depending on the external matter on how I felt good about the class.

This week, I noticed something different. I noticed that no matter how the class size was, how a gal complained how fast the move was, how low energy people bring or how miserable look people give, I had a good class. I’ve been having a pretty good time teaching. I realized that it’s all because of how I I’m consciously shifting my focus from others and external matter to myself. Do I want to feel good because people are having fun and not to feel good because people are not having fun? Well, it may seem to help, but not really. It’s so dependent on others. I want to feel good no matter what the circumstances. So, when I see someone in the miserable face, I get amusement out of it. It’s not my responsibility to make this miserable face to a smiley face. It’s up to that individual. If you have fun, cool. If not, oh well. If you’re really unhappy and disagreeing how I’m setting up the class and class energy, please leave peacefully. You really don’t have to put up with anything you don’t like. Life is all about downstream. That’s how I think of things.

You know, it’s easy for me to say now, but I tell you it hasn’t been easy when things were heated and I was in this learning process in real time. The thing is, though, sometimes life pushes you to the edge, so your limits need to be pushed for your expansion. If life is giving you some grief or stress right now, keep this in mind. It’s a great opportunity for you to expand. Also, shift your focus to you. How can you make you happy independent of others? Oh, by the way, if you’re interested in attending the workshop, here is the info.

With that, have a wonderful weekend! 😀