Your Own Independence

Happy 4th of July! That’s right, it’s Independence day! Some people must be working like the towing company who towed my car this morning for donation. I hope everyone can get some break and enjoy some strawberry or something today! I’ll write about independence today.

My old car died on the way back from the Zumba gig two weeks ago. I knew my car was getting close to its end, but I wasn’t planning to replace it at this point. I guess I run my life like that, always like that. I get so busy doing stuff, work, stuff, then taking care of myself including car get very last thing. I’m intentionally paying attention to my tendency and working on changing this part of me, but still, it’s very deeply seeded. With that, my car dying was probably the best way to get me do something about the car. The universe has its own way of moving me forward.

In the middle of this car break down process, I only knew to test drive the car I had been looking into for a while. So, I was in the very bad shape that day with all happening at once, I made myself up to go to a dealership to test drive. That’s all I knew I was going to do that day. I wasn’t willing to fix my car because it was just too old for me to maintain any more. The rest is a history. I now have a new car. How it came to my place is not something I knew, but it came with me from the dealership. On the way from the dealership to my home, I dropped by my friend who lived close by to show the car as she requested. At then, she gave me the information about car donation program. The towing company partnership with the organization just towed my car this morning.

As I think of this, maybe it was a perfect day for letting go of my old car. I had that car for years, I mean over 10 years. At that time, I was slowing going back to school. As I was transitioning to the full time student, the financial part had to be catered for school. I knew it would be a long run as I was shooting for a med school. Then, I quit my full time banking job to another. I sold my condo, so I wouldn’t have complicated payment on top of the future schooling. Then, I was thinking that my SUV probably was not suitable for a full time student. While I wasn’t sure what I would do about it, some drunk minor who was at the chase from police smashed my SUV parked at the street parking. It was totaled and I needed a new car. That was my old car I just donated.

So…. my old car was for schooling. It served me very well and although it wasn’t my style (I’m never a sedan person. I’m a hatchback person.), I drove it and took it everywhere. I even went to Southern Utah and Colorado with it. Even after I graduated from school, I focused on something else and had never had a chance to take a look at if my old sedan was suited for me at present time. Who would drive a car or buy a car by thinking that way? Well, I think people who are fond of car probably do it and they’re right to do that.

While I let go of my old car, I realized that I had been working on my independence ever since I moved to the US. I was fairly independent in Japan as I had a pretty good career. After I moved to the US with my ex, I became totally someone else. I felt I was dependent of my ex. I couldn’t do anything on my own. When I couldn’t stand how miserable I became, although I wasn’t independent financially or career wise at that point, I proposed my ex for divorce. I wanted to get myself back. I wanted my independence back.

I had a career before I went back to school, but I know I had been still working on my independence as a person when I went back to school. So, that car knew me and had assisted me throughout my journey of my own independence. I’m grateful that I now realized that the car was outdated for me. It’s not suitable for me any more. I have a full appreciation on that car. Thank you.

I think we’re all working on our own independence. Whatever it means to each of us. It can be career. It can be strength. It can be survival. It can be identity. It can be allowing own personal power. Then, it is a great opportunity to celebrate the Independence Day in our own version of it.

What does your independence mean to you? What kind of independence are you working on? With that thought, let’s celebrate!

Happy 4th! 🙂