Archives

Create and Destroy

Happy Friday! It’s almost Saturday and I should be in bed by now normally. I’ll write before I got to bed tonight. Today’s topic is about destroying phase and creating phase in life.

June has been very challenging for me. I think it started around the end of May, probably around the Memorial weekend. I couldn’t figure out what was up honestly but every morning I woke up with thick energy sitting in my energy field. So, normally my morning meditation and clearing is my peaceful time, but morning this month has been very rather ill feeling. I didn’t know but maybe I was already starting the phase of destroy phase in life.

In order to create a new in life, you have to destroy. I wrote about removing the olds in order to bring the new. It’s the same thing. Sometimes, removing will do. Sometimes, it’s more of destroying in order to create a new thing in life. It’s like life-death cycle. In order to give life in your life, death happens. I’m not talking about someone dying here.

This week, I’m letting go of a friend who hasn’t been good for me. I won’t go too much in details since I know that I’m still in the middle of this process. I still get this friend’s energy gushing into my space and I haven’t had a peaceful space quite yet. I took an action and since then, it’s been really hard for me this week. My empath has been really strong and opened up last few weeks, so I’m super sensitive. I can feel this friend’s energy and it’s really painful because this friend has so much pains. Since I’m an empath and I do care about people, it’s really challenging to let go of someone no matter how it is for my highest good.

While that’s happening, my car broke down on me last night on the way back from a Zumba class. My stress level is way up because of that. I mean, I’ve been having some eating problem from letting go of my friend matter to start with, car breaking down on me is something. I almost thought of cancelling the Zumba class tonight, but I rented a car and went to teach Zumba. If you look at monetary value, that’s probably not the move you do. However, there is more than monetary value in life’s energy circle and I decided that I’ll take the invisible portion by doing so. Now, I have to figure out what to do with my car because I don’t think I’m willing to fix it. Me breaking up with friend; my car breaking up with me….

So, here is the destroy phase. I’m letting go of my friend. I’m also letting go of my good old friend, car. In order to create a new, next best abundance in your life, you have to destroy which are not working for you. My car was definitely ending its life. My friend was sucking my energy out of my life. In fact, I felt like I’m losing my will to live since it’s been so hard with energy gushing into my space. So, I need to let go: destroy phase.

Destroy phase isn’t fun at all. Sometimes you don’t even know if it’s the right thing because it’s a mess and it really doesn’t feel good. It feels awful more likely. Though, when this phase is clear, you have a space for creating a new. Creating the most suitable, next best abundant, new in your life.

When you’re in the destroy phase, don’t be discouraged. It’s not that the universe is against you or bad things keep happening to you. You have to destroy to create a life. You can always ask support from the universe because the universe is always supporting you no matter how you feel. It shall pass. This phase shall pass. Then you get to bring in a beautiful life in you.

With that, have a wonderful weekend! Oh, graduation is always life-death cycle, isn’t it? You complete and you start a new! 🙂

How To Know The Differences in Energy

Happy Mother’s Day! I’m really wishing you having a beautiful, joyful Mother’s Day with lots of love and gratitude! I wrote a blog on Friday, so I thought I’m free to do other things than writing a blog this weekend. Though, the messages or ideas hit again, so I need to put it on writing. Maybe someday I’ll write a book to put all together, but for now, writing a blog works for me. Today’s topic is about how to know the differences in energy. Though, I don’t know if I can explain or give you a guidance on how to differentiate. It’s just this title matches what I want to write about. It’s about knowing what is coming in your space.

This morning, I started early as usual since lately I have many energy visitors during my sleep time, so unless I get up and start working on my energy field to clear up, it gets worse and worse and starts affecting my thoughts. I also read a couple of chapters of Hicks’ book, “The Astonishing Power of Emotions” this morning and was doing the exercises to shift my thoughts to be aligned to my true self. The interesting part for me is that when I do something like this, I get multiple messages and ideas including visions. I’m very kinesthetic, so normally my clairvoyance and clairaudience aren’t the first route of intuition, but they get very active as well as my strong clairsentience.

As I was finishing up the chapter I was reading, I was noticing that the tenacious energy was in my space. I get all sorts of energy visits, good or bad, so I can’t really pay attention to each and single time because otherwise, I’ll spend my day, clearing, sitting on the chair forever 24/7. When I was done reading the chapter, I had a thought. The thought was, “This is a spirit coming into my space. I don’t know who the hell this is, but this is a spirit.” As soon as I had that through, the vision started to open up. I saw a male energy, fairly older, might have been a human at one point in the past, long time ago, but now completely just a spirit existence. Then, I immediately thought, “It’s the Abraham!”

To give you a little more background about Hicks and their books, Esther Hicks is a channel of a being (or spirit) called “Abraham” who gives her the insights of spiritual wisdom. Hicks writes books and does workshop to deliver the messages given by the spirit Abraham. That’s the basic premise of the how this book is written.

The thing is… Normally I would avoid such people or books as much as possible. That doesn’t mean they’re bad or books are bad. Actually their work and their messages are valid and good. It’s just my sensitivity to energy. I pick up everything around energy. If beings (spirits) are involved, I can pick up on that, too. If someone is a “channel,” I pick up on that, too because they have this specific sensation which gives me a eerily body reactions. To give you more specific, the “channel” means many different things. Some channels channel the energy and message through their writings. Some brings their messages to their fifth chakra only. Some brings the beings (spirits) in their bodies. That last one is called, “transmedium.”

As a very sensitive person, I can tell when someone is a channel because they bring in the different vibrational energy into their space. Especially transmediums give me a very specific feelings and sensations that I don’t really like to come close to them. Again, that doesn’t mean all are wrong or bad. All I’m saying is based on what I can handle, what my sensitivity can handle. So… you might have a better understanding of why I never really liked the Hicks’ books because I could sense this “channel” thingy. When I was getting so sensitive all of the sudden once I opened the door of spirituality, all I could do is to avoid all the energy which makes me feel strange and resistant. So, till recently I never touched their books. I tried to read one famous book called, “Ask and It is Given” but every time I tried to buy or check it out, I got a big “NO!” So, it took me for years to even touch their work.

When I realized that it was the “Abraham” spirit coming into my space, I had to ask this spirit to give me some space. I asked him (I call him although spirits don’t really have gender per se) to back off from my energy field and just communicate with me telepathically or show me images because it’s too much for me if he comes into my energy field. He did back off and started to show me more vivid images. I felt immediately better. Man, my throat was feeling like swollen with some energy coming in, my heart region was hot and top of my head was bothering because a spirit was coming into my seventh chakra which is a spiritual chakra on top of my head. It was very uncomfortable.

I can’t explain why but this happens sometimes more than I’d like to anticipate for. When the beings (spirits) want to communicate with me so strongly, they do every attempt to get my attentions. It happened in the last clairvoyant class I was holding a space for the class. Just a brief summary of it is someone in the class did something helpful for the family of the deceased one (just deceased a couple of days previous to the class) and the deceased one wanted to say “thank you” to this person. Only if someone can pay attention and listen to what he has to say, then he won’t come to my space. Well, who would pay attention to something like that in life?!!!

Anyway, the beginning of the class while we were meditating, I was having massive sneezing, head pressure, nausea, etc. and I was really not doing well. I had a duty to do, although I have a right to take care of myself first, my focus was scattered because I was holding the class space to be safe from any energy coming into the class space. While we were in the debriefing after the initial meditation, the person who needed to hear the message started to share the story of around this family with the deceased one.  As soon as she started to talk about the story, I had a thought, “it’s HIM.” Then, I started to sense, see, hear his face and message. So, I delivered the message to her, “Thank you for telling me the story because now I understand what this energy coming into my space so strongly is. The ‘dad’ is telling me to tell you, ‘Thank You.'” She totally got it and my whole experience with this energy attack had ceased immediately. Man, that was so unpleasant to be in my shoes at that time!

Anyway, the long story long, Abraham wanted to validate and encourage me for doing the work. He was validating my healing work, delivering messages of the law of the universe and creating the workshop which I decided to do with the meditation technique I learned and his law of universe principle. So, I take that. He also understand that I’m not interested in doing the Esther Hicks thingy, the transmediumship. He can show me images or communicate with me telepathically, but no one, including any enlightened spirits come into my space in any time. I’m the boss in my own space!

The reason I decided to write about this is that my journey of my sensitivity of energy is an on-going, expansive experiences through my spiritual learning throughout the years. What I could handle, know now are very different from what I could handle years back. Now, I can tell and differentiate what my body is reacting to, what else is there, etc. Just because you feel energy or something doesn’t mean it’s just one thing. It could be a bundle of energy coming at once. Before I would totally see it as one bundle. Now I can see each and individual within the bundle. Some, I have to deal with it as it’s not good for any, some I have to communicate, some I have to work on myself, some I ask assistance from the Source.

Your learning and awareness come in continuous and gradual process. When you’re not ready to see or understand, it’s not shown that way. When things are ripen and you’re there to know, you see the different depth and dimensions. So, take it easy! Do one step at a time! Nothing in life is given to you if you can’t handle.

With that, have a happy happy Mother’s Day Sunday! 😀

References:
Hicks E. & J. (2007). The Astonishing Power of Emotions. Carlsbad: Hay House.

Be Consistent With Your Boundaries

Hello ladies and gents! Yes, it’s Wednesday and I’m writing a blog! Recently I decided to set my healing business office hours and I’m adjusting myself to work within that hours accordingly. It’s more for myself. Since I do my own healing business and my energy work can become 24/7. I’m not willing to live my life that way and it’s been challenging. So, I decided to set my hours and take a complete healing and spiritual work off on off hours. Sure, communication might happen here and there, but I’m working on my best to do within the time I’m setting up. With that, I’ll write about boundaries today. Hence, the title is “Be Consistent With Your Boundaries!”

You probably know the boundaries around work can be challenging. I was a corporate worker for a long time and my hours were set officially. However, my actual working hours was never within those hours. I remember when I was working for the tech corporate jobs, my hours were beyond 40 hours per week. At one point, I was working from the morning to the mid night with no visible reward. When I got fired from that project, I learned the lesson. No matter how hard you work, how good worker you might be, you’re not the most important matter. It all depends on how the decision makers see things in their conveniences. So, it’s for your best to take a good care of yourself and do the best for yourself no matter what you do around work, relationship, anything in life!

I’m writing this boundary topic not just because of the work hour boundaries. My work is energy work, spiritual work per se, so things are very invisible. If I’m not clear about what I do and what I don’t do, things can sneak in pretty easily. So, it’s always my learning journey of how well to set my boundaries. Boundaries are not set stone, either. If it’s not working well, you have to continuously shift and change to work well for you. You’re evolving and so should your boundaries be.

I’ll give you an example. I have a friend who uses my services from time to time. Friends are challenging when you do your work. For one, your boundaries with your friends are quite different from the strangers to start with. So, setting up the boundaries on your business around your friends is much more challenging. Friendship can sneak in beyond your business boundaries and then pretty soon, you start feeling that things are not working well for some reason. After a while, you realize that you allow your friends to cross your business boundaries. You would have caught it if it was a pure client of yours, but just because it’s your friend, you totally didn’t catch it. It went through your blind sight.

This happens here and there for me. I don’t have much healees/readees who are my friends because of this reason. It’s sort of like a “conflict of interest” in some business. I used to be in financial field and I remember I was very clear about conflict of interest. I never dated with my clients, never did loans for someone I knew, or never handled the money of someone I knew. It makes things easier for you to handle. No matter how you feel you’re ok, humans are not that clear cut and dry beings.

I have had some healees/readees who want to use me as a “personal healer” for their personal convenience. This is not a clear cut thing, either. Where to draw the line is all up to me. I set up my healing work for people’s healing journey and soul’s evolution. I set up my healing work to be “mutually beneficial.” So, I don’t work “for” people. I do healing, spiritual work for the session set up. So, no one is my disciple. I’m no one’s “personal healer.” I’m called on assistance, and then I provide assistance for their own growth and healing process. All the responsibility is up to the healees, not me. I don’t take their responsibility on me. I don’t do their work; they have to do their work.

Majority of the people are very clear about my boundaries probably because of the cultural set up in the US. However, US is made of multi-cultural, multi-ethnic population. So, from here and there, no matter how I address my boundaries, it doesn’t go through some people. Then, I have to keep checking with my higher self and the “Source.” Is it my highest good to work with this person? If yes, then how much and around what and what not? As long as the message is “ok” on working with the person, I have to constantly address, shift, change my boundaries to work better for me and my healing work. This part is most challenging in my work I think.

Energy go through anywhere. It doesn’t matter if you’re seeing your healee in front of you or if your prospective is thinking about booking a session. The energy already visits my space. Sure, this is totally unconscious level, but communicating energetically that I address clear energetic separation is big in my work. When other’s energy is in my space, I can’t be neutral. Other’s energy doesn’t work for me. Same thing can be said about you, too. Keeping your space clear from other energy is the key. That’s what boundaries are for.

This is also true in relationship, right? I don’t do that much any more, but back in the day when I was still pondering about being single was lonely, I used to allow people who were not super good for my highest good. I picked up a so so person, or more like not completely my style of person, then in my core part of myself knew this person might not be good for me, but pondered what other options were. So, boundaries get wishy-washy, then what I set up got invaded every single time till I said “enough!” Nowadays, I’m a bit in the opposite extreme, so I learned how to be cool and happy by myself and now I’m not sure how to do the relationship well. I’m learning everyday. I get so distant and feel like dropping the whole game, but then realize that ok I need to come to a little more friendly space than the boundaries made of concrete.

What’s the point of this? Well, take back home for you is this. The clearer your space from other’s energy is, the clearer your head and life can be. The clearer your space from other’s energy is, the better you can relate, be neutral, and be kind. Setting boundaries and be clear about your boundaries are the first step on that. You own your space by setting up the boundaries and being consistent about it. If it’s not working, change it to the better. But, the boundaries are necessary!

With that, have a amazingly amusing rest of the week! 🙂